Valentine’s Day spotlight: Meet Neil 89 and Pat 86

Neil and Pat have been Baptcare Home Care and Orana clients for over seven years. We recently sat down to chat with Pat about her Valentine, Neil.

Tell us your love story, Pat.

I met Neil when I was 14 years old and he was 16. We married in 1958 and have been happily married for 66 and a half years.

I went to Cooee State School next to the town of Burnie, Tasmania. At the time, Neil lived at the back of Wynyard Airport and was working on a cattle truck.

Every Tuesday there were cattle sales at Cooee so Neil would drive by the local playground where I was playing basketball.

I can see it now. The cattle truck would go by the playground and I’d see this blonde-haired boy leaning out of the truck window and waving his arm off at me!

Our paths kept crossing. Every Sunday, my friend and I would walk to Somerset to get an ice cream. One day, we walked past a home with new residents and I saw a blonde-haired boy leaning out of his window waving his arm off at me.  I said to my friend “I think that’s the same boy from the cattle truck!”. I couldn’t believe it!

He ended up coming to the ice cream shop too and then catching the same bus to the weekly Saturday night movies. He’d raise his eyebrows, wink and carry on at the back of the bus. Eventually we ended up sitting together on that bus each week.

I was 17 years old before he was welcomed into the family home.

We were engaged at 18 years old. This was quite scandalous at that time in history and there were a lot of downers about our engagement.

We were engaged for two years and then I was married in 1958 when I was 20.

I was an only child and quite under the thumb, so it was quite a business to get married. My parents had told me that I was not allowed to leave the house until I turned 21.

We didn’t have children for six years and then had a girl (now 60 years old) and a boy (55).

Neil and I worked very, very hard from the start of our marriage. We both had fulltime jobs and then we cleaned office spaces in the evening.

We eventually bought our own home when Neil was 24 and a half years old.

What did you like about Neil when you first met him?

He seemed very gentle, kind and placid.

66 years later – what do you love most about Neil now?

He’s very caring, very helpful, very thoughtful and extremely patient. He would do anything for anyone.

I’ve got some health issues and he’s so kind to me. He loves washing up and is always out by the clothesline helping with the sorting of our clothes.

What are some things you enjoy doing together? (Looking at your photo – I’m guessing football?)

We love watching footy and cricket together but don’t ask me to remember any scores the next day!

I’ve always loved dancing – particularly tap dancing but when we first met, poor old Neil didn’t know how to dance! But week after week, I’d get him up and drag him around the dance floor until he got quite good. We used to go dancing three times a week and the special Friday Balls were a big part of the Northwest Coast of Tasmania’s social calendar too. Neil would be in his penguin suit, I’d be dressed up to the nines, and we’d both have so much fun!

I actually won 19 titles as Matron of Honour – best dressed and best dancer on the floor but I had to give up dancing in 2014 because of my heart problems. I miss it so much.

We also enjoy spending time with our family and going to Baptcare’s Orana Social Centre.

What do like about Orana?

The company, the friendships and the meals are just delightful.

Neil and I really love it.

We go twice a week every week – Mondays and Thursdays.

Neil has 3 hours respite on Thursdays. Ash – a new carer and the most loving gentle person – picks Neil up and plays games with him for a while and then I join them all at Orana for lunch.

Any tips for a long marriage?

You’ve got to work on it.

It’s all about give and take.

On this special Valentine’s Day, what does love mean to you?

I love the closeness and the company – wonderful company – that I enjoy with Neil.

We’ve always done everything together – one never goes anywhere without the other.

We don’t function without one another.